I wish I blogged more. I read other people's blog and think about posting on my own blog and then never do it. That's lame. I'm going to do better.
Something has been on my mind for over a month now. I was visiting a friend in Utah (see my Utah trip should definitely be on this blog) and he was holding Xander and said said to me, "Look at you living your dream!" Wow. That's right. I am living my dream. I always wanted to be a wife and a mother and now I am doing it. Wow. That's cool. After I left him I spent more time thinking about this dream of mine I'm living:
Is this how I saw myself as a wife? Am I the kind of wife I want to be?
What was I like as a mommy in my dream? Am I there?
What can I do better?
What should I change or improve?Is there anything I need to eliminate?
I kind of think about this often, I feel so blessed to have a family and I want to make sure I am making the most of it. I'm aware how fast time goes and before I know it we'll be empty-nesters. The other day the house was extremely messy, having not really unpacked from a camping trip, being busy teaching summer school for 3 days and feeling lazy. I thought is this my dream? Is this how I saw my living room looking in my dream? Is this how imagined feeling? NO. I don't want a messy house, I don't want to feel annoyed about it all of the time. I got my bum in gear and slowly (feeding and kissing the boys in my life take a lot of time) things are getting back in order.
Today I'm feeling like the woman in my dreams. Laundry is going (although in my dreams I had a maid. All my dreams can't come true. Life isn't that perfect), the house smells like banana chocolate muffins, Xander is happy and well fed rolling all over the vacuumed-just-yesterday floor. I am happy. I feel so blessed.
Thoughts to ponder:
Are you living the life you wanted for yourself?
Is there anything you can change to more fully make your dreams come true?
luckily you have time to work on it everyday. that you are deciding NOW to shape up. you are pretty early on in the game that you can decide how you want things to be and then to stick with it. it made me think again about my little family, my family of two. i think sometimes, maybe its because of our lifestyle here of not much to do, but i feel lazy in our relationship. we are so comfortable in being comfortable. i am so ready to be more active. i dont know if that makes sense, but it does to me...and that is what matters. i also think that i need to change how i feel about being here. i think its hard to be active when i am not in love with living in such a difficult place. i have a lot of work, but like you, i am still early in the game and its a great time to reset things. i love the picture of the 3 of you. THAT BABY. oh my gosh. his smile is so big! i want to hold him and henry sooo bad. it makes me so sad.
ReplyDeleteyou are so cute, i hope you blog more! we will both blog more!! and wowza, what a cute family you've got there!!
ReplyDeleteum yes, post that utah trip.
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